It's time I said some things about others choices and why they effect our lives. First of all, the world is full of people. There are almost seven billion people on this blue orb we call Earth. We can't live anywhere without some interaction with other people. Second of all, we all make mistakes. Some of those mistakes have to do with our interactions with others. I doubt if there is anyone who hasn't done something that affected someone else in some way. A simple slip of the tongue that hurt someones feelings, maybe. Or possibly some action that caused pain for someone. There are sometimes situations where we must choose to please one person and upset another. Sometimes we must sacrifice one or a few for the good of many. Many, many situations in life cause problems for others simply because we are all different. When, in the course of human events, we have to suffer a little, we need to understand that we have differences and allow for those things.
A very wise and loving Heavenly Father gave us the wonderful gift of agency. People who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints do not understand this word being used like this. Let me explain. Agency is the freedom and right to choose for ourselves. I like the word agency because it means we are agents to act, and not be acted on. It also means we have a responsibility as agents to choose things that are right and good. We choose not only for ourselves, but we have to be aware of others in this process. In this way we become responsible agents.
As I may have mentioned in other posts, I spent some time in therapy. I had several therapists over the years. Some were great; others not so much. I had one who I still like to call my rent-a-friend. All he did was sit and listen. In his defense there is a popular theory that says the client should be in complete control of his own therapy, and if the therapist listens the client will come to the answers to his problems. The answer I came to was that I needed another therapist. This is an interesting side note, but let me get to the point. My next therapist was very wise and made me work hard. At this time I was still struggling with the concept of why a loving God allows some things to happen; especially to children. I had heard many answers that just didn't satisfy me. This lady told me something that no other person had put quite the way she did. She asked me what would happen if a murderer was prevented from carrying out the act they had a tendency and desire to do. Then they died still having that desire. Since they never carried out the act they would be rewarded in the hereafter. What would this do to the order of things? I use the example of a murderer here, but plug in whatever heinous act you have to deal with and ask the same thing.
The point of all of this is that we all have agency and it must be played out in order to guarantee that we all have it. When we suffer for someone else's agency, we gain experience, as the Doctrine and Covenants tells us. This experience gives us what all experience gives us: understanding. We gain just a very small understanding of what our Savior did for us when he suffered in Gethsemane, and all the events that led to his crucifixion; and then, as he hung on the cross and finally gave his life, willingly, for us. This also increases our understanding of how much He loves us. That understanding also increases our love for Him and others. We love Him because He loved us first. We love others because we know He loves them as much as He loves us.
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