As I reflect on another year passing, and another starting, I feel it is time to summarize some of my posts about choices and sticking to them. Everyone is thinking about their New Years resolutions. As we think about our lives and what we need to change, let's not set ourselves up for the usual failure of resolutions.
In Matthew 5:48 The Lord tells us to be perfect. Of course this is our ultimate goal, but perhaps not tomorrow. D&C 10:4 tells us not to run faster than we have strength. So What do we do? The answer may be in figuring out how fast we really are able to run. The last line in the D&C verse I just referenced says, "but be diligent unto the end." The Lord himself "grew grace to grace" (D&C 93:12-13). Certainly, he doesn't expect us to get there any other way. He tells us we will be given "line upon line: precept on precept: here a little, there a little"(Isaiah 28:10).
The road to perfection is a long one. Most of us (certainly me) have just begun the journey. As we decide what to set as our resolutions this year let's look at the tools we have to make decisions. These were discussed in my earlier posts: "Making Right Choices" and "More on Choices" posted on November 9 and 15. Particular attention should be given to listening with our hearts and asking "The Author". Of course it does no good to ask if we don't listen closely for the answer.
Once we have figured out what the most important things are that we need to work on, look back at my post entitled "Baby Steps." Break down our resolutions into steps that we are sure we can do. If that means just doing something one day at a time until we have made definite progress, that's what we do. It is important that we have someone to report our progress to. This should be The Lord. At the end of the day we tell him what we have done and ask again what we need to do tomorrow. It could also be a psychologist or counselor if you aren't comfortable with prayer. As we take baby steps, and keep taking them, we will find that we can take bigger steps, and even bigger ones, until we master the principle we are working on. Just remember, perfection is a lifelong project.
Let me caution everyone here. When The Lord tells us not to run faster than we have strength, we need to understand He DOES expect us to run just as fast as we can. No one knows how fast that is except us and The Lord. Sometimes we don't even know what we are capable of, but He does. This is why we must listen to our Hearts and find the answers He is giving us. And don't take such tiny steps that we are making little or no progress. One more caution: This is a lifetime project, but we never know how long that lifetime will be. I believe the prophecies about the end of the world are meant to scare us; because the end of the world for any one of us is the day we pass from this mortal life. We must prepare for that day as if it could be tomorrow.
To sum up, we have the tools to make choices. Ask (after we do our homework) and listen with our hearts. The answers are there. Once we make those choices, we take baby steps, or, if we are capable, giant steps. Above all, when The Lord said, "be diligent unto the end" He was telling us to KEEP STEPPING.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Stupor
I had a lot of ideas I wanted to put into this blog. Lately I have either drawn a blank in my mind or just can't seem to organize these ideas into a post that makes sense. Is that a "stupor of thought?" Maybe the Man Upstairs doesn't want me to say some of the things I had in mind. Or maybe it is just writers block.
I eventually want to write a book about the subject of this blog: choices and suffering and how to handle the bad things that happen in our lives. I am using this blog to ramble and later I will put it all in some sensible order and put it all together.
If anyone has comments or ideas I would love to here from you.
I eventually want to write a book about the subject of this blog: choices and suffering and how to handle the bad things that happen in our lives. I am using this blog to ramble and later I will put it all in some sensible order and put it all together.
If anyone has comments or ideas I would love to here from you.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
I thought I would depart, for a moment, from the discussion of choices and make a Christmas message for the few readers I have. In these times,when people seem to be afraid of saying Merry Christmas, for fear of offending millions of Non-Christians, I am reminded of one of my favorite Christmas songs. The words were written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, during the American Civil War, But the message is pertinent today. I found two stanzas that are left out of the song we sing today because they referenced the war, so there was actually more despair in the original version. I actually like the modern version better because it ends in a tone of hope for humanity. Here it is:
I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet the words repeat,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet the words repeat,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
I thought how as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had roll'd along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
The belfries of all Christendom
Had roll'd along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And in despair I bow'd my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."
'Til ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!
As we celebrate this Holiday Season, let us all remember the reason we are celebrating. It is a remembrance of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. What message did He have for the world? I refer to the passage in Mark where a scribe asked what was the greatest commandment. His answer is in Mark 12:30-31, "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all they heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment."
"And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."
What a wonderful world it would be if we truly loved each other as He loves us.
And I for one will greet all my friends with love and boldness!
Merry Christmas! And Love to all!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
A Caveat
I want to spend some time discussing other peoples choices and why they can cause us some pain and suffering. I will do that, but today I have been thinking about how we often let those things cause us to make many more choices of our own that have a snowball effect. Let me illustrate with a personal experience.
In 1971 I was drafted and had to spend two years in the U.S. Army. I was married and had a child on the way so I was not thrilled to be serving my country. My oldest son was born while I was in training. Needless to say I was relieved when I got sent to Germany instead of Vietnam. This relief was not as sweet as I would have thought. When I got to Germany I found a very hostile environment. It seemed we had a sort of "war" going on between what we called "lifers"(career soldiers) and draftees. most of us draftees did not care for the whole idea of war and military service.
Since I was married and needed to be able to drive a car off base, I was able to test and received a POV (privately owned vehicle) license. This license was difficult to attain because the Germans administered the test and we had to learn the German laws and a lot of international road signs. It was an automatic assignment for young enlisted men who had POV licenses to become Jeep drivers because Jeeps were driven on the roads and highways off base.
My Platoon leader was a West Point graduate named Lt. Locke. He seemed like a decent young man, but he and I soon had problems. One night I was assigned to be the duty driver. This is the guy who has to drive the duty officer and sergeant of the guard around to check on the battalion area and post guards for guard duty at night. Prior to this I had to go home to put on my best duty uniform because I also had to look good during this assignment. As I was preparing to leave to go back to the base to assume my duty, my Baby son got into a cupboard in the kitchen and pulled a box of drain cleaner onto his head. When I got to him he appeared as if he might be eating some. I immediately grabbed him up and my wife held him on her lap in our car while I drove to the infirmary. The doctor there assured us that the boy had not eaten any of the stuff because it would have burned his mouth and throat severely. As a precaution, since he had dumped the powder on his head, they rinsed his eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Then we were to keep an eye on him for the next 24 hours. The doctor gave me a note that was to relieve me of duty so I could be home with my son.
Since my duty station was between the infirmary and my home, we stopped at headquarters and told the duty officer I had to go home. The duty officer happened to be Lt. Locke. He argued for some time about why I needed to go home, until my wife came in and got hysterical about this man keeping me from taking her and our baby home. In this confusion I had given the doctor's note to the Lieutenant, basically to show him this was necessary.
The next day I was called at home and told to report to my company commander. I tried to explain that I was told by the doctor to stay with my baby for 24 hours, but I was "ordered" to report to the commander. When I got to the company area I was ushered in to see the captain. Lt. Locke was in the office already. After enduring a great deal of tongue lashing for missing my duty assignment I was finally given a chance to explain. When I finally mentioned that there was a note from the doctor, the captain changed his tone and asked where this note was. I informed him that I had given it to Lt. Locke. Well, of course, Lt. Locke was unable to produce the note, but a call to the infirmary confirmed my story.
After this event I had a great deal of hate for Lt. Locke. It was so bad I would lie awake at night sometimes plotting ways to take the man's life. Many things I did from that time forth were effected by my feelings toward my Lt. After about a year of this I came to the realization that this was eating me up and was very definitely effecting my life. I also realized that my feelings didn't hurt the Lt. at all. His life went on just fine. I knew I had to forgive him for my own sake. I prayed about this for some time and finally was able to resolve the incident in my own mind. Interestingly, a month or so after I resolved things, Mrs. Locke, the Lieutenant's wife, Had a baby. It seemed like this had a great impact on Lt. Locke's attitude toward me. In fact, a few months later he called me into his office and apologized to me. The last year of my tour of duty in Germany was a much happier experience. A few months later my whole company was invited to test for the Expert Infantryman's Badge. This is a decoration that few soldiers get. It is very prestigious for infantry soldiers. The test lasts three days. I told my Lt. that I was going to prove to him and myself that I could be a good soldier. He laughed, but said he hoped I did. When the results of the test came in no one in my company received the badge, but I had the highest score in the company. I missed by one point. By the way, the officers also took part in the testing and I had beaten all of their scores.
This story is a little long but it has a point. That is that we sometimes let the discomfort that comes from others' choices effect the choices we make. We must be very careful how we react to outside influences because our reaction can have a much more far reaching and long lasting effect on us. We cannot let others' choices change our own ability to make correct choices because the ultimate responsibility for our lives is ours.
In 1971 I was drafted and had to spend two years in the U.S. Army. I was married and had a child on the way so I was not thrilled to be serving my country. My oldest son was born while I was in training. Needless to say I was relieved when I got sent to Germany instead of Vietnam. This relief was not as sweet as I would have thought. When I got to Germany I found a very hostile environment. It seemed we had a sort of "war" going on between what we called "lifers"(career soldiers) and draftees. most of us draftees did not care for the whole idea of war and military service.
Since I was married and needed to be able to drive a car off base, I was able to test and received a POV (privately owned vehicle) license. This license was difficult to attain because the Germans administered the test and we had to learn the German laws and a lot of international road signs. It was an automatic assignment for young enlisted men who had POV licenses to become Jeep drivers because Jeeps were driven on the roads and highways off base.
My Platoon leader was a West Point graduate named Lt. Locke. He seemed like a decent young man, but he and I soon had problems. One night I was assigned to be the duty driver. This is the guy who has to drive the duty officer and sergeant of the guard around to check on the battalion area and post guards for guard duty at night. Prior to this I had to go home to put on my best duty uniform because I also had to look good during this assignment. As I was preparing to leave to go back to the base to assume my duty, my Baby son got into a cupboard in the kitchen and pulled a box of drain cleaner onto his head. When I got to him he appeared as if he might be eating some. I immediately grabbed him up and my wife held him on her lap in our car while I drove to the infirmary. The doctor there assured us that the boy had not eaten any of the stuff because it would have burned his mouth and throat severely. As a precaution, since he had dumped the powder on his head, they rinsed his eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Then we were to keep an eye on him for the next 24 hours. The doctor gave me a note that was to relieve me of duty so I could be home with my son.
Since my duty station was between the infirmary and my home, we stopped at headquarters and told the duty officer I had to go home. The duty officer happened to be Lt. Locke. He argued for some time about why I needed to go home, until my wife came in and got hysterical about this man keeping me from taking her and our baby home. In this confusion I had given the doctor's note to the Lieutenant, basically to show him this was necessary.
The next day I was called at home and told to report to my company commander. I tried to explain that I was told by the doctor to stay with my baby for 24 hours, but I was "ordered" to report to the commander. When I got to the company area I was ushered in to see the captain. Lt. Locke was in the office already. After enduring a great deal of tongue lashing for missing my duty assignment I was finally given a chance to explain. When I finally mentioned that there was a note from the doctor, the captain changed his tone and asked where this note was. I informed him that I had given it to Lt. Locke. Well, of course, Lt. Locke was unable to produce the note, but a call to the infirmary confirmed my story.
After this event I had a great deal of hate for Lt. Locke. It was so bad I would lie awake at night sometimes plotting ways to take the man's life. Many things I did from that time forth were effected by my feelings toward my Lt. After about a year of this I came to the realization that this was eating me up and was very definitely effecting my life. I also realized that my feelings didn't hurt the Lt. at all. His life went on just fine. I knew I had to forgive him for my own sake. I prayed about this for some time and finally was able to resolve the incident in my own mind. Interestingly, a month or so after I resolved things, Mrs. Locke, the Lieutenant's wife, Had a baby. It seemed like this had a great impact on Lt. Locke's attitude toward me. In fact, a few months later he called me into his office and apologized to me. The last year of my tour of duty in Germany was a much happier experience. A few months later my whole company was invited to test for the Expert Infantryman's Badge. This is a decoration that few soldiers get. It is very prestigious for infantry soldiers. The test lasts three days. I told my Lt. that I was going to prove to him and myself that I could be a good soldier. He laughed, but said he hoped I did. When the results of the test came in no one in my company received the badge, but I had the highest score in the company. I missed by one point. By the way, the officers also took part in the testing and I had beaten all of their scores.
This story is a little long but it has a point. That is that we sometimes let the discomfort that comes from others' choices effect the choices we make. We must be very careful how we react to outside influences because our reaction can have a much more far reaching and long lasting effect on us. We cannot let others' choices change our own ability to make correct choices because the ultimate responsibility for our lives is ours.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving
Today being Thanksgiving, I just want to say I am thankful for all the adversity I have had to deal with in my life. After all, the hardships and troubles we work through in life are what make us who we are. I love the title of Cheri Dew's book, If Life Were Easy It Wouldn't Be Hard. It is necessary for life to be hard.
To understand this concept we must understand that we have a loving Heavenly Father and we lived with him (and, I am sure, a loving mother) before we came to Earth. When we were in our pre-mortal life a great council was called. Our Father presented His plan for us to come to Earth to gain physical bodies (for we were spiritual beings then), and to be tested. We would grow and gain strength from this experience. Knowing we would have problems and make mistakes, Father would provide a Savior for us to atone for our mistakes. Our older brother Lucifer countered with a plan of his own. In this plan we would all be forced to do what is right and none of the spirits that were there would be lost. This plan sounded good to a third of the spirits and they chose to follow Lucifer. The rest of us realized that we would not grow or improve under this plan. We needed to have what we call agency, or the right to choose right from wrong. We knew there were risks and some would be lost, but this was the only way we would grow and become strong. By the way, a Savior was provided. Our oldest brother volunteered to do this for all of us, because of the love he has for all of us. He became Jesus Christ.
I also want to say how thankful I am for the gift of agency. This is Heavenly Fathers gift to us to help us learn to control the physical body he also gave us. But most of all I am thankful for the gift of His first-born Son, Jesus Christ, who provided a way for us to return to the beautiful world of our loving Father.
I just wanted to express some of this because it is the day to express our thanks for things that are important to us. I also will use this as a way to introduce the concept of agency. This is really why we must suffer some for other people's choices and sometimes our choices may cause others to suffer. Stay tuned as I discuss this very important concept in future posts.
To understand this concept we must understand that we have a loving Heavenly Father and we lived with him (and, I am sure, a loving mother) before we came to Earth. When we were in our pre-mortal life a great council was called. Our Father presented His plan for us to come to Earth to gain physical bodies (for we were spiritual beings then), and to be tested. We would grow and gain strength from this experience. Knowing we would have problems and make mistakes, Father would provide a Savior for us to atone for our mistakes. Our older brother Lucifer countered with a plan of his own. In this plan we would all be forced to do what is right and none of the spirits that were there would be lost. This plan sounded good to a third of the spirits and they chose to follow Lucifer. The rest of us realized that we would not grow or improve under this plan. We needed to have what we call agency, or the right to choose right from wrong. We knew there were risks and some would be lost, but this was the only way we would grow and become strong. By the way, a Savior was provided. Our oldest brother volunteered to do this for all of us, because of the love he has for all of us. He became Jesus Christ.
I also want to say how thankful I am for the gift of agency. This is Heavenly Fathers gift to us to help us learn to control the physical body he also gave us. But most of all I am thankful for the gift of His first-born Son, Jesus Christ, who provided a way for us to return to the beautiful world of our loving Father.
I just wanted to express some of this because it is the day to express our thanks for things that are important to us. I also will use this as a way to introduce the concept of agency. This is really why we must suffer some for other people's choices and sometimes our choices may cause others to suffer. Stay tuned as I discuss this very important concept in future posts.
Monday, November 15, 2010
More on Choices
After my last post I ran across a scripture that goes perfect with what I was saying. It is in the Book of Mormon; Moroni 7:16, "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." This goes well with what I was saying about listening to, and with, our hearts.
I was also reminded of the 9th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verses 7-9. This was given to Oliver Cowdery when he had desired to translate the Book of Mormon and failed. This is good instruction for us all. The Lord said; "Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings,but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me."
A number of years ago I was called to be a Sunday School President. I was in my late twenties at the time and was feeling very inadequate. I was tasked with selecting two counselors to help in the organization. At this time in my life I had never sought inspiration for any one besides myself and my family. I was really struggling with this, so I went to see the bishop who had asked me to do this task. He refused to give me any suggestions as to who we should call. He told me that I had the keys to this inspiration and I had to do it. He did, however, give me some advice, which was basically to read this section of the D&C with me. He told me to get the Ward list and look through it and see if any names made sense to me. He called this doing my "homework." When I had some names in mind I was then to ask The Lord. When I got that confirmation, I had to submit those names to the Bishop. Well I struggled with this for another week or two and kept getting a feeling about one of my best teachers. This man was an excellent youth teacher and I just didn't want to give him up in that position. I actually argued with the spirit for a few days and finally gave in and submitted a couple of names including this man. The bishop questioned my choice because he also knew what a great teacher this brother was. I told the bishop of my experience and the man was called. He turned out to be the best counselor I could have asked for. It was he who suggested another person for his replacement and this turned out to be a great thing for the youth also.
We now have a good box of tools for making choices:
1. Look to the end of the road. Try to see the consequences of the action we are about to take.
2. Listen to, and with, our hearts. Meditate, be still, and get in touch with our inner feelings.
3. Do your Homework. Study the decision. Gather all the information that is available.
4. Ask. There is a Supreme Being. Call him God, Allah, or what you will. My son-in-law is an English Professor and has issues with organized religion, but calls the Supreme Being "The Author". I actually like this. Pray to Him. Ask Him if your decision is right. And again, Listen for the answer. I promise you will feel it in your deepest feelings.
I was also reminded of the 9th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verses 7-9. This was given to Oliver Cowdery when he had desired to translate the Book of Mormon and failed. This is good instruction for us all. The Lord said; "Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings,but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me."
A number of years ago I was called to be a Sunday School President. I was in my late twenties at the time and was feeling very inadequate. I was tasked with selecting two counselors to help in the organization. At this time in my life I had never sought inspiration for any one besides myself and my family. I was really struggling with this, so I went to see the bishop who had asked me to do this task. He refused to give me any suggestions as to who we should call. He told me that I had the keys to this inspiration and I had to do it. He did, however, give me some advice, which was basically to read this section of the D&C with me. He told me to get the Ward list and look through it and see if any names made sense to me. He called this doing my "homework." When I had some names in mind I was then to ask The Lord. When I got that confirmation, I had to submit those names to the Bishop. Well I struggled with this for another week or two and kept getting a feeling about one of my best teachers. This man was an excellent youth teacher and I just didn't want to give him up in that position. I actually argued with the spirit for a few days and finally gave in and submitted a couple of names including this man. The bishop questioned my choice because he also knew what a great teacher this brother was. I told the bishop of my experience and the man was called. He turned out to be the best counselor I could have asked for. It was he who suggested another person for his replacement and this turned out to be a great thing for the youth also.
We now have a good box of tools for making choices:
1. Look to the end of the road. Try to see the consequences of the action we are about to take.
2. Listen to, and with, our hearts. Meditate, be still, and get in touch with our inner feelings.
3. Do your Homework. Study the decision. Gather all the information that is available.
4. Ask. There is a Supreme Being. Call him God, Allah, or what you will. My son-in-law is an English Professor and has issues with organized religion, but calls the Supreme Being "The Author". I actually like this. Pray to Him. Ask Him if your decision is right. And again, Listen for the answer. I promise you will feel it in your deepest feelings.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Making Right Choices
I know I haven't written on here for a while. It is difficult when my wife and I share the same computer, and she needs it for business. She does translations from English to Portuguese and vice versa.
I have been talking about Choices and sticking to them. I took the points of my first post and was expanding on them. I am still talking about the first reason for adversity or suffering, our own choices. I thought maybe we need to discuss making the right choices. Sticking to a bad choice can have catastrophic results. As I said, the first step on a road, in essence, is a choice for the end of that road. Thus, we need to be sure we are choosing roads that will end in a pleasant place.
Going back to Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken," he says, "long I stood, And Looked down one as far as I could, To where it bent in the undergrowth;" We can try to look to the end of the road, but sometimes it takes a few bends in the undergrowth. In other words, we don't always know where our chosen path will take us. We can, when ever possible, look to the end of our path to decide if it is the right path for us. This is one way to make good choices. The scriptures say, "By their fruits you shall know them." But what do we do when we can't see the end or the fruit?
As I thought about this subject, I came across a talk by Pres. Thomas S. Monson. This was given in our last General Conference. The Talk is titled, "The Three R's of Choice." I won't put the whole talk on here but encourage anyone interested to look it up and read it. I love the reference to Lewis Carroll's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Alice "comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. She is confronted by the Cheshire Cat of whom Alice asks, 'which path shall I follow?'"
"The cat answers, 'that depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn't matter which path you take.'"
Pres. Monson's Three R's are the Right of choice, the Responsibility of choice and the Results of choice. The Right is the gift we are given of agency. The responsibility is what I am talking about today. The result is basically what I have been talking about in this whole blog. The other thing that I wanted to quote here is this: "Each of us came to this earth with all the tools necessary to make correct choices. The prophet Mormon tells us, 'The Spirit of Christ is given to every man that he may know good from evil.'"
Whether you are a member of The Church or not, or whether you are even Christian or not, you must agree that everyone has that something. Call it conscience or whatever you will but each of us has it. When we need to make a decision about our life all we need to do is listen to our own feelings. We will know deep down what is the right thing to do. Many folks get out of touch with this as they rush through life. I submit that if you will sit quietly for just a few moments and listen to what you feel, the answer will become apparent. I like to call this listening with your heart. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are given what we call the Gift of the Holy Ghost. This is a subject for another blog, but It is done right after a person is Baptized. I have always thought it very interesting that in the ordinance where this gift is bestowed we exhort the person to "Receive the Holy Ghost." I like this because it shows the responsibility we have to listen, as it were, with our hearts.
As we make choices in our lives, let us remember the tools we have to help make correct choices. First, look down the road, whenever possible. Of course, we must know where we want to go so we can decide if we want to follow this road. And second, listen with our heart. Call this the "Still Small Voice", meditation, Zen or just a conscience. The point is we have to slow down and listen. My favorite scripture is in The Doctrine and Covenants section 101 verse 16. It ends with the phrase"...be still and know that I am God." We must be still and listen.
I have been talking about Choices and sticking to them. I took the points of my first post and was expanding on them. I am still talking about the first reason for adversity or suffering, our own choices. I thought maybe we need to discuss making the right choices. Sticking to a bad choice can have catastrophic results. As I said, the first step on a road, in essence, is a choice for the end of that road. Thus, we need to be sure we are choosing roads that will end in a pleasant place.
Going back to Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken," he says, "long I stood, And Looked down one as far as I could, To where it bent in the undergrowth;" We can try to look to the end of the road, but sometimes it takes a few bends in the undergrowth. In other words, we don't always know where our chosen path will take us. We can, when ever possible, look to the end of our path to decide if it is the right path for us. This is one way to make good choices. The scriptures say, "By their fruits you shall know them." But what do we do when we can't see the end or the fruit?
As I thought about this subject, I came across a talk by Pres. Thomas S. Monson. This was given in our last General Conference. The Talk is titled, "The Three R's of Choice." I won't put the whole talk on here but encourage anyone interested to look it up and read it. I love the reference to Lewis Carroll's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Alice "comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. She is confronted by the Cheshire Cat of whom Alice asks, 'which path shall I follow?'"
"The cat answers, 'that depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn't matter which path you take.'"
Pres. Monson's Three R's are the Right of choice, the Responsibility of choice and the Results of choice. The Right is the gift we are given of agency. The responsibility is what I am talking about today. The result is basically what I have been talking about in this whole blog. The other thing that I wanted to quote here is this: "Each of us came to this earth with all the tools necessary to make correct choices. The prophet Mormon tells us, 'The Spirit of Christ is given to every man that he may know good from evil.'"
Whether you are a member of The Church or not, or whether you are even Christian or not, you must agree that everyone has that something. Call it conscience or whatever you will but each of us has it. When we need to make a decision about our life all we need to do is listen to our own feelings. We will know deep down what is the right thing to do. Many folks get out of touch with this as they rush through life. I submit that if you will sit quietly for just a few moments and listen to what you feel, the answer will become apparent. I like to call this listening with your heart. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are given what we call the Gift of the Holy Ghost. This is a subject for another blog, but It is done right after a person is Baptized. I have always thought it very interesting that in the ordinance where this gift is bestowed we exhort the person to "Receive the Holy Ghost." I like this because it shows the responsibility we have to listen, as it were, with our hearts.
As we make choices in our lives, let us remember the tools we have to help make correct choices. First, look down the road, whenever possible. Of course, we must know where we want to go so we can decide if we want to follow this road. And second, listen with our heart. Call this the "Still Small Voice", meditation, Zen or just a conscience. The point is we have to slow down and listen. My favorite scripture is in The Doctrine and Covenants section 101 verse 16. It ends with the phrase"...be still and know that I am God." We must be still and listen.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Baby Steps
At least one more post about our choices and keeping them.
The 1991 film, "What About Bob?" illustrates what I'd like to talk about today. It's a very fun film about a man with many phobias and a tendency to drive his therapist crazy. Our anti-hero, Bob, is referred to Dr. Leo Marvin, who we find is on vacation with his family. Upon meeting Bob, Dr. Leo writes him a prescription to take a vacation from his problems, thinking he will leave. Unfortunately Bob decides to join Dr. Leo and his family on their vacation. This leads to many funny moments.
In the movie, Dr. Leo has written a book named "Baby Steps." This is based on his theory that problems are solved by taking very small steps and building on them until the problems are conquered. Since then I have actually heard psychologists use the term "baby Steps." It is actually sound theory. We often become overwhelmed with problems and by breaking them down into the smallest steps to move toward resolution we can eventually make the problems go away.
If we apply this to choices we make in life, or goals we want to set for ourselves it works very well. The reason most of us set goals and fail to reach them is we set them too high. We become overwhelmed with the size and difficulty of what we are trying to accomplish. If we back up and set attainable goals that we are sure we can reach we can then have small successes and build on that success. For example, lets say someone decides to read The Bible from cover to cover. They get out their copy (most families have copies laying around that have never been read) and start looking at it. The shear size of the thing is enough to make most of us give up before we start! So instead of seeing the huge goal we need to break it down. A quick glance on line will give us a number of plans with charts to read The Bible in a certain period of time. Most are one year programs. If you're LDS, ask any Seminary Teacher to give you the reading chart they give students. This may work for many people. A lot of us will still find the long term goal somewhat discouraging and will give up after a few days. Or as life happens to us we may miss a few days and this causes us to get frustrated and give up. Breaking this down further and further we can get down to saying we will read for five minutes tomorrow. If I were counseling a person to do this, I would have them report how they did. Then I might ask them if they thought they could do the same for a week. Building on this success we might try another week or even two. Researchers say that something repeated for 21 days becomes a habit. So after three weeks we have developed a habit. Of course, we can build on this and extend the time spent reading. According to one chart I looked at it takes about a half hour of daily reading to read The Bible in one year. And taking our mind off the big goal, a half hour of scripture reading a day is not a bad habit to develop.
To sum up, take a big goal and divide it into steps. If the steps are still too hard break them down further. Eventually we will get to the baby steps that we can do. Each person must figure out for himself what those baby steps are. Some people can manage bigger steps than others. After we succeed build on that success until the steps aren't so hard. Above all, KEEP STEPPING!
The 1991 film, "What About Bob?" illustrates what I'd like to talk about today. It's a very fun film about a man with many phobias and a tendency to drive his therapist crazy. Our anti-hero, Bob, is referred to Dr. Leo Marvin, who we find is on vacation with his family. Upon meeting Bob, Dr. Leo writes him a prescription to take a vacation from his problems, thinking he will leave. Unfortunately Bob decides to join Dr. Leo and his family on their vacation. This leads to many funny moments.
In the movie, Dr. Leo has written a book named "Baby Steps." This is based on his theory that problems are solved by taking very small steps and building on them until the problems are conquered. Since then I have actually heard psychologists use the term "baby Steps." It is actually sound theory. We often become overwhelmed with problems and by breaking them down into the smallest steps to move toward resolution we can eventually make the problems go away.
If we apply this to choices we make in life, or goals we want to set for ourselves it works very well. The reason most of us set goals and fail to reach them is we set them too high. We become overwhelmed with the size and difficulty of what we are trying to accomplish. If we back up and set attainable goals that we are sure we can reach we can then have small successes and build on that success. For example, lets say someone decides to read The Bible from cover to cover. They get out their copy (most families have copies laying around that have never been read) and start looking at it. The shear size of the thing is enough to make most of us give up before we start! So instead of seeing the huge goal we need to break it down. A quick glance on line will give us a number of plans with charts to read The Bible in a certain period of time. Most are one year programs. If you're LDS, ask any Seminary Teacher to give you the reading chart they give students. This may work for many people. A lot of us will still find the long term goal somewhat discouraging and will give up after a few days. Or as life happens to us we may miss a few days and this causes us to get frustrated and give up. Breaking this down further and further we can get down to saying we will read for five minutes tomorrow. If I were counseling a person to do this, I would have them report how they did. Then I might ask them if they thought they could do the same for a week. Building on this success we might try another week or even two. Researchers say that something repeated for 21 days becomes a habit. So after three weeks we have developed a habit. Of course, we can build on this and extend the time spent reading. According to one chart I looked at it takes about a half hour of daily reading to read The Bible in one year. And taking our mind off the big goal, a half hour of scripture reading a day is not a bad habit to develop.
To sum up, take a big goal and divide it into steps. If the steps are still too hard break them down further. Eventually we will get to the baby steps that we can do. Each person must figure out for himself what those baby steps are. Some people can manage bigger steps than others. After we succeed build on that success until the steps aren't so hard. Above all, KEEP STEPPING!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Steps and Missteps
There is a saying which says a great journey begins with the first step. As true as this is it misses another point. Yes, a journey doesn't happen until we take that first step, but every other step is just as important. Any time we stop stepping the journey ends. At least it is delayed for a time. And any misstep seriously curtails our trip. When we take the first step in our journey we must keep stepping and stay on the goal.
The prophet Lehi had a dream. In his dream he saw the tree of life and the fruit which was very desirable. Some of his family came and ate the fruit and some didn't. His oldest sons rebelled right away. As he watched the other people trying to get there, he observed a straight and narrow path which led to the tree. Along the path was a rod of iron. All the people had to do was hold onto the rod to find their way. Those who lost their hold wandered off the path and were lost in a mist of darkness. The other thing observed was a massive building, full of people mocking those who sought the tree and fruit. Some people looked ashamed. At any rate this created a great distraction. Then there were many who desired to get to the spacious building and join those there. The interesting thing was that many of these people got lost on the way and some drowned in a river that was there. Nephi, Lehi's son, prayed for an explanation to this dream. An angel showed him the same dream with a thorough discussion of it's meaning. Readers can read the story in 1st Nephi for this discussion. For my discussion, I just wish to say we must set our sights on what is most important. take the first steps in the right direction. Then we must keep the goal in sight and use what tools are there to help us stay on task. The iron rod was there in Lehi's dream. Often there are simple things that are easy to use but we sometimes loose track of them. Or we don't take advantage of them because they are too simple.
David Frost's Poem gives us some thoughts about choosing the right road:
I love the last line "And that has made all the difference."
My friends, we must choose carefully what path we take and when we choose keep stepping! Also, always remember, if we get lost along the way, it is never too late to try to find our way back. It may not be easy to get back through the dark mist, but the path is still there and if we get ahold of the rod again we can still reach our goal.
The prophet Lehi had a dream. In his dream he saw the tree of life and the fruit which was very desirable. Some of his family came and ate the fruit and some didn't. His oldest sons rebelled right away. As he watched the other people trying to get there, he observed a straight and narrow path which led to the tree. Along the path was a rod of iron. All the people had to do was hold onto the rod to find their way. Those who lost their hold wandered off the path and were lost in a mist of darkness. The other thing observed was a massive building, full of people mocking those who sought the tree and fruit. Some people looked ashamed. At any rate this created a great distraction. Then there were many who desired to get to the spacious building and join those there. The interesting thing was that many of these people got lost on the way and some drowned in a river that was there. Nephi, Lehi's son, prayed for an explanation to this dream. An angel showed him the same dream with a thorough discussion of it's meaning. Readers can read the story in 1st Nephi for this discussion. For my discussion, I just wish to say we must set our sights on what is most important. take the first steps in the right direction. Then we must keep the goal in sight and use what tools are there to help us stay on task. The iron rod was there in Lehi's dream. Often there are simple things that are easy to use but we sometimes loose track of them. Or we don't take advantage of them because they are too simple.
David Frost's Poem gives us some thoughts about choosing the right road:
| 1. The Road Not Taken |
| TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, | ||||
| And sorry I could not travel both | ||||
| And be one traveler, long I stood | ||||
| And looked down one as far as I could | ||||
| To where it bent in the undergrowth; | 5 | |||
| Then took the other, as just as fair, | ||||
| And having perhaps the better claim, | ||||
| Because it was grassy and wanted wear; | ||||
| Though as for that the passing there | ||||
| Had worn them really about the same, | 10 | |||
| And both that morning equally lay | ||||
| In leaves no step had trodden black. | ||||
| Oh, I kept the first for another day! | ||||
| Yet knowing how way leads on to way, | ||||
| I doubted if I should ever come back. | 15 | |||
| I shall be telling this with a sigh | ||||
| Somewhere ages and ages hence: | ||||
| Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— | ||||
| I took the one less traveled by, | ||||
| And that has made all the difference. | 20 | |||
My friends, we must choose carefully what path we take and when we choose keep stepping! Also, always remember, if we get lost along the way, it is never too late to try to find our way back. It may not be easy to get back through the dark mist, but the path is still there and if we get ahold of the rod again we can still reach our goal.
Friday, October 15, 2010
About the Title of This Blog
I had a number of ideas for the title of my blog. One was The Epistles of Paul (Not the Apostle). others included: Simply Hope; Strength in Weakness; and The Mustard Seed. This final idea grabbed me, though.
I went and found the talk where I got this idea from. It is Elder Richard G. Scott in a talk given October 3, 2009. In order to give the proper credit I quote here:
"The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit."
I hope I am not infringing on any copyrights or anything. The Apostles are always inspiring and this talk was especially so to me. The "still small voice" can be heard or felt by all who are willing to be still and listen with their heart. I was also inspired recently by a book by Stephen R. Covey, Spiritual Roots of Human Relations. In one chapter he tells of being invited to the University of Arizona for a "Religion In Life Week." He tells of being in a discussion with a group of students about the "new morality" and after feeling like he was getting nowhere with them he was inspired to challenge the students to listen very carefully and they would hear a voice. They wouldn't hear it in their ear, but if they listened carefully they would hear or feel it in their hearts. He challenged them to be quiet and try it for one minute. If they didn't feel something in that minute he would leave and not waste any more of their time. Well after a minute of silence the results were astounding. For more details read the book. I recommend it for many reasons. I just especially love the way he says to listen with our hearts.
I also chose the grapes and peppers imagery because to me these flavors are on the opposite ends of the flavor scale. I realize there are many who eat jalapeños like they are candy but to me they are not. I hope no one will be offended if I use them to compare good and evil or other opposing forces that we face every day in life. As the prophet Lehi said to his son Jacob, in 2 Nephi 2, there must be opposition in all things. We know this is necessary so we can have good and bad, etc. If it weren't for the Jalapeños we may not appreciate the sweet grapes, in life.
I went and found the talk where I got this idea from. It is Elder Richard G. Scott in a talk given October 3, 2009. In order to give the proper credit I quote here:
"The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit."
I hope I am not infringing on any copyrights or anything. The Apostles are always inspiring and this talk was especially so to me. The "still small voice" can be heard or felt by all who are willing to be still and listen with their heart. I was also inspired recently by a book by Stephen R. Covey, Spiritual Roots of Human Relations. In one chapter he tells of being invited to the University of Arizona for a "Religion In Life Week." He tells of being in a discussion with a group of students about the "new morality" and after feeling like he was getting nowhere with them he was inspired to challenge the students to listen very carefully and they would hear a voice. They wouldn't hear it in their ear, but if they listened carefully they would hear or feel it in their hearts. He challenged them to be quiet and try it for one minute. If they didn't feel something in that minute he would leave and not waste any more of their time. Well after a minute of silence the results were astounding. For more details read the book. I recommend it for many reasons. I just especially love the way he says to listen with our hearts.
I also chose the grapes and peppers imagery because to me these flavors are on the opposite ends of the flavor scale. I realize there are many who eat jalapeños like they are candy but to me they are not. I hope no one will be offended if I use them to compare good and evil or other opposing forces that we face every day in life. As the prophet Lehi said to his son Jacob, in 2 Nephi 2, there must be opposition in all things. We know this is necessary so we can have good and bad, etc. If it weren't for the Jalapeños we may not appreciate the sweet grapes, in life.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Families Defined
I realize that yesterday I kind of threw up in my post. I said a lot of things all at once and I know I can write several posts about the subject matter of yesterdays post. I will probably do just that, so stay tuned and consider yesterday an overview.
Meanwhile something else is on my mind today. Recently Pres. Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has become the subject of a media frenzy. It seems the gay community is not pleased with his talk in General Conference. Let me just say first that pres. Packer did not speak out against gays per se. He spoke out against practices that take place outside the bounds of a clearly defined marriage. Adultery has always been one of the top ten sins. (see Exodus 20) Whether it is straight or gay, animal or vegetable, sex outside of marriage in any form is considered wrong.
I have been associated with people of many persuasions all of my life and I have always been very tolerant of their life choices. I don't condone or support promiscuity in any form, but I don't discriminate against anyone because of their choices. Agency is the right to choose. and I will fight to the death to protect that principal and right.
A friend of mine I knew back in the late 80's put this subject into perspective. During this period of time it was popular for gays to "come out" and "out" each other. A big deal was made of these outings with great fanfare. My friend said that even though we may know people engage in many acts in their marriages, we don't really want to know what they do behind closed doors. Why then do we need to have gay acts forced in the public domain? These things exist and we know they Happen. Just don't get in our face with them.
Another small point: why are people so appalled at the idea of polygamy yet we are supposed to accept every other alternative style of family? Don't get me wrong, I am not supporting polygamy here either. I have all I can do to keep up with one wife. When I studied Social Psych we were taught all the different definitions of family today. I really didn't agree then and I don't now.
Again, as "Mormons" we don't discriminate against Gay people or any other group. We just believe the Lord when he told us, "Thou Shalt not commit adultery", In all of it"s forms.
Tomorrow, Back to choices and their consequences. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.
Meanwhile something else is on my mind today. Recently Pres. Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has become the subject of a media frenzy. It seems the gay community is not pleased with his talk in General Conference. Let me just say first that pres. Packer did not speak out against gays per se. He spoke out against practices that take place outside the bounds of a clearly defined marriage. Adultery has always been one of the top ten sins. (see Exodus 20) Whether it is straight or gay, animal or vegetable, sex outside of marriage in any form is considered wrong.
I have been associated with people of many persuasions all of my life and I have always been very tolerant of their life choices. I don't condone or support promiscuity in any form, but I don't discriminate against anyone because of their choices. Agency is the right to choose. and I will fight to the death to protect that principal and right.
A friend of mine I knew back in the late 80's put this subject into perspective. During this period of time it was popular for gays to "come out" and "out" each other. A big deal was made of these outings with great fanfare. My friend said that even though we may know people engage in many acts in their marriages, we don't really want to know what they do behind closed doors. Why then do we need to have gay acts forced in the public domain? These things exist and we know they Happen. Just don't get in our face with them.
Another small point: why are people so appalled at the idea of polygamy yet we are supposed to accept every other alternative style of family? Don't get me wrong, I am not supporting polygamy here either. I have all I can do to keep up with one wife. When I studied Social Psych we were taught all the different definitions of family today. I really didn't agree then and I don't now.
Again, as "Mormons" we don't discriminate against Gay people or any other group. We just believe the Lord when he told us, "Thou Shalt not commit adultery", In all of it"s forms.
Tomorrow, Back to choices and their consequences. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Why do bad things happen?
There is a song by Garth Brooks named "The Dance." In this song he talks about pain and heartbreak. He says I could have missed the pain but I would have had to miss the dance. The point is that we all must suffer some in life so we can appreciate the good things that happen.
There are three reasons we suffer:
1. Bad choices. We make choices every minute. Some good some bad. The course of our lives is determined by the choices we make all of the time. We must live with the consequences of our choices. again good and bad.
2. Other peoples bad choices. The creator, in his wisdom, gave us what is called free agency. The agency to choose right or wrong. Good and bad. Sometimes bad choices cause the suffering of others. In order for free agency to take place we have to suffer some for others bad choices.
3. Just because. Sometimes there are bad things that happen and we can't attribute them to anyones choices. They just happen. Like the famous bumper sticker, "Stuff Happens" (cleaned up for public consumpton).
For many years I tried to find a reason for many of the bad things that happen. Especially to children. Some things happen that have deep reaching, long lasting effects on children. effects that last into adulthood. As a member of the LDS church I was often quoted a scripture found in The Doctrine and Covenants. Another blog will explain the scriptures I believe. Section 122:7 says "...all these things will give thee experience, and be for thy good." As one who suffered some long lasting childhood "bad stuff" I was not satisfied with this. Experience? For my good? It just didn't make me feel very good. It took a long time, but I think I now know what The Lord was saying in this scripture. What is it that experience does for us? It gives us understanding! Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ took on Himself all of our pain. He suffered it all. He didn't just take our sins. He took our pain, our sorrow, even all of the suffering we must endure. The experience of our own suffering gives us just a little bit of understanding of what He went through. I have an image in my head of being in the premortal life. I am pulled to the side by The Lord. He says to me, "I will take the troubles of the world on myself, but I need your help. In order for the concept of free agency to work some children will have to suffer for some peoples bad choices. Will you be one of those? It will be like you take a small part of the atonement for me". The really great news here is that He can take the pain and sorrow away if we just let Him. We suffer to understand the greatest gift of all. But the suffering is only for a moment when we truly understand this gift...the Atonement.
There are three reasons we suffer:
1. Bad choices. We make choices every minute. Some good some bad. The course of our lives is determined by the choices we make all of the time. We must live with the consequences of our choices. again good and bad.
2. Other peoples bad choices. The creator, in his wisdom, gave us what is called free agency. The agency to choose right or wrong. Good and bad. Sometimes bad choices cause the suffering of others. In order for free agency to take place we have to suffer some for others bad choices.
3. Just because. Sometimes there are bad things that happen and we can't attribute them to anyones choices. They just happen. Like the famous bumper sticker, "Stuff Happens" (cleaned up for public consumpton).
For many years I tried to find a reason for many of the bad things that happen. Especially to children. Some things happen that have deep reaching, long lasting effects on children. effects that last into adulthood. As a member of the LDS church I was often quoted a scripture found in The Doctrine and Covenants. Another blog will explain the scriptures I believe. Section 122:7 says "...all these things will give thee experience, and be for thy good." As one who suffered some long lasting childhood "bad stuff" I was not satisfied with this. Experience? For my good? It just didn't make me feel very good. It took a long time, but I think I now know what The Lord was saying in this scripture. What is it that experience does for us? It gives us understanding! Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ took on Himself all of our pain. He suffered it all. He didn't just take our sins. He took our pain, our sorrow, even all of the suffering we must endure. The experience of our own suffering gives us just a little bit of understanding of what He went through. I have an image in my head of being in the premortal life. I am pulled to the side by The Lord. He says to me, "I will take the troubles of the world on myself, but I need your help. In order for the concept of free agency to work some children will have to suffer for some peoples bad choices. Will you be one of those? It will be like you take a small part of the atonement for me". The really great news here is that He can take the pain and sorrow away if we just let Him. We suffer to understand the greatest gift of all. But the suffering is only for a moment when we truly understand this gift...the Atonement.
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